So, I got a phone call the other day. My biopsy results showed that everything is normal. To say the least I am happy to know that I am a-ok. But for at least the next 2 years I will have to be watched and instead of once a year I will have to have my womanly exams done 2 times a year. Not really looking forward to that but I would rather deal with that than have cervical cancer.
On to other things going on...I'm in the process of looking for a joby, job. I would like to put my degree to work. I'm hoping soon to find something...the sooner, the better.
Welp, I think that is all for now.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
He calls me, "Super Woman"...
*Blogger Disclosure* If you can't handle personal and delicate information, this blog is not for you.
Today was my medical procedure. A procedure that I had, had once before; years ago but for some reason this one felt so different in the way of what I could almost know what it would be. Before I continue, I should go back a little and give you a background of things.
About 4 or 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with the HPV virus. I was told then that it was something that would have to be monitored for pretty much the rest of my life but that it wasn't something to be too concerned with because there are so many women out in the world that do not know they have it and because it is a virus, virus' like HPV have a chance to go away on their own with little to no concern but it still has to be watched because it can lead to cervical cancer. Well, unfortunately I was not monitored on a continuous basis because I could not afford to see my obgyn doc (I know, I know...not a good enough excuse but honestly, I just couldn't afford even the visit nevermind what would have to be done. Thank God for Dr. Hays now because she has said, no matter what I want to see you when I need to or even when I don't...your health is important and I will help any way I can; I digress). Skipping ahead to about July/August, I had some in between my period bleeding. I ended up going to the ER with really no clear answers until I got to see what would be my new obgyn. Turns out in between bleeding is not uncommon. So, my new doc decided she would give me a few weeks to recover so to speak from the ER visit and in between bleeding and then start fresh with my yearly exams since I haven't seen a gyno at that time in 4 or 5 years. I go in for my fresh start for yearly exams and everything seemed to be good. Dr. Hays tells me that if I don't hear from her 2 weeks from the day that I saw her I didn't have anything to worry about, that all was well. 2 weeks comes and sorta kinda goes without word. I think I thought too soon because it was 2 weeks and 1 day when she called me. She tells me that the pap came back negative and I need to come in for a procedure that I am very familiar with (I'm sorry but I'm drawing a blank on the whole medical procedure name but trust me when I say, not one woman wants to be on the receiving end of it).
Ok, so today was "D" day. I wake up, feeling ok but not really wanting it to be the day. I had asked Steve a few days ago if he would go with me and wait for me. He said he would. He could see that I was nervous, he kept calling me Super Woman; trying to get me to smile and not be so nervous. I tried to smile throughout the day while we waited to leave for my appointment but after the 3rd time of hearing Super Woman I finally told him that I can't be Super Woman today. He smiled and said, "We'll get through this no matter what it is."
So, we get there and for the most part I was strong in holding onto my tears...until that doctor came into the room and asked me how I was doing. I lost it. I love my doctor, although she is not much of hand holder and more of a straight shooter, I love her. Now this is where things get a little emotional for me...I am about to tell you what I learned but I won't be going into too much detail because I am still not ready to share everything.
The results of my pap smear that was done in August showed a low grade legion (I'm sure that I am spelling that wrong) on my cervix. She took a biopsy and as of right now it will be a waiting game for me. To say the least, I am trying my best to just give this all over to God and just allow whatever is going to be, to be. Steve kept telling me, if it is what it could be...again not ready to say it much...we will fight it. He said, "I got your back."
Yeah, today was stressful.
Today was my medical procedure. A procedure that I had, had once before; years ago but for some reason this one felt so different in the way of what I could almost know what it would be. Before I continue, I should go back a little and give you a background of things.
About 4 or 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with the HPV virus. I was told then that it was something that would have to be monitored for pretty much the rest of my life but that it wasn't something to be too concerned with because there are so many women out in the world that do not know they have it and because it is a virus, virus' like HPV have a chance to go away on their own with little to no concern but it still has to be watched because it can lead to cervical cancer. Well, unfortunately I was not monitored on a continuous basis because I could not afford to see my obgyn doc (I know, I know...not a good enough excuse but honestly, I just couldn't afford even the visit nevermind what would have to be done. Thank God for Dr. Hays now because she has said, no matter what I want to see you when I need to or even when I don't...your health is important and I will help any way I can; I digress). Skipping ahead to about July/August, I had some in between my period bleeding. I ended up going to the ER with really no clear answers until I got to see what would be my new obgyn. Turns out in between bleeding is not uncommon. So, my new doc decided she would give me a few weeks to recover so to speak from the ER visit and in between bleeding and then start fresh with my yearly exams since I haven't seen a gyno at that time in 4 or 5 years. I go in for my fresh start for yearly exams and everything seemed to be good. Dr. Hays tells me that if I don't hear from her 2 weeks from the day that I saw her I didn't have anything to worry about, that all was well. 2 weeks comes and sorta kinda goes without word. I think I thought too soon because it was 2 weeks and 1 day when she called me. She tells me that the pap came back negative and I need to come in for a procedure that I am very familiar with (I'm sorry but I'm drawing a blank on the whole medical procedure name but trust me when I say, not one woman wants to be on the receiving end of it).
Ok, so today was "D" day. I wake up, feeling ok but not really wanting it to be the day. I had asked Steve a few days ago if he would go with me and wait for me. He said he would. He could see that I was nervous, he kept calling me Super Woman; trying to get me to smile and not be so nervous. I tried to smile throughout the day while we waited to leave for my appointment but after the 3rd time of hearing Super Woman I finally told him that I can't be Super Woman today. He smiled and said, "We'll get through this no matter what it is."
So, we get there and for the most part I was strong in holding onto my tears...until that doctor came into the room and asked me how I was doing. I lost it. I love my doctor, although she is not much of hand holder and more of a straight shooter, I love her. Now this is where things get a little emotional for me...I am about to tell you what I learned but I won't be going into too much detail because I am still not ready to share everything.
The results of my pap smear that was done in August showed a low grade legion (I'm sure that I am spelling that wrong) on my cervix. She took a biopsy and as of right now it will be a waiting game for me. To say the least, I am trying my best to just give this all over to God and just allow whatever is going to be, to be. Steve kept telling me, if it is what it could be...again not ready to say it much...we will fight it. He said, "I got your back."
Yeah, today was stressful.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Blogging...Free Therapy
Yep! I done did it...and I honestly never meant to or thought I ever would do such a thing. I guess all those emergencies finally caught up to me, along with needing a little extra of this or that over the last few months. It shook me up a little bit because I have never done it before I didn't know if that meant that I would have to pay in full on the bill or what...I know, I know I wasn't thinking very clearly on that one but again, I never did this before. I guess this gives me the whole new meaning to the phrase, "Live and Learn".
To say the least, I am stressed out. On top of this whole maxing out my one and only credit card, I am facing a very unwanted and kind of scary medical procedure tomorrow (which I will explain in another blog, it makes me cry just to think about it but once I know more I will give more details). People are telling me not to worry or be scared but I can't help it. I am human after all. I am just trying not to think too much about it. I had a cry fest in the shower over it...hopefully that cry fest will be the one and only one I have about it.
I am trying to keep my wits about me and just give it all to God. I mean what else can I do...right? It helps to know that I have people praying for me.
Enough of that...let's move onto something else...
There's my Steve. I thought it has been a while.
Things with Steve are good. Kind of progressing. I say kind of because we are still in the friends/semi-dating mode of things, i.e. getting to know each other and taking things as they come. We were talking about it the other night and while I am liking where things are and where things appear to be going, I am really wishing it would move a little more into the committed place. Not that we are not committed now, we are just committed in a different way. It's kind of hard to explain. Steve and I understand where and what we are. I guess that is all that matters, right?
Anyway, we are planning a trip to Canada in a few weeks or so before I start working in a full time job. He has a friend there that just had a baby and he wants to go visit them; he wants me to meet her and her boyfriend as well as them to meet me. It should be fun because I have never been to another part of the world like Canada. I am looking forward to it and I believe it will be a good test of sorts for Steve and I. You see we will be driving there and well, I don't know about other couples but something happens when you are in a car for longer than an hour or two with your significant other. I think we will be ok because of how well we get along and work together. I think that is why we get along so well...he helps me and I help him. He teaches me and I teach him. We go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly...we just work.
Well, I need to get to bed...tomorrow is going to be a long day.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Plea to God
The picture you see above is of Steve and I in Old Colorado City, Colorado. It was one of many that were taken while in Colorado for my graduation.
Dear God....
I cannot express my thoughts or feelings right now. They are so jumbled up, I cannot make heads or tails of it. You see as recently as 2 weeks ago or there abouts, Steve and I unbeknowest to us, grew closer together intimately....*with words*...I should be clear about that because he and I both are sustaining ourselves until marriage...regardless of it is us together or separate with other people. Anyway, since that night, my spirit has been crying out for him; really seeing things without the blinders on and knowing the truth about who he is and his life as he knows it and has apparently always known it. And then last night, another blow was thrown his way. I cannot get into details but it's bad from what I know. And all I can keep thinking is..."Dear God! He cannot take anymore" I see it in his eyes...it breaks my heart.
I have been praying and praying; evening stopping what I am doing to pray for him and this situation that he finds himself in.
It saddens me that I know what I know and cannot do a little about it. I feel helpless.
Please God allow me to be used in this situation. Somehow and someway. I love you! Amen!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Help Wanted??? Pretty Please???
I am looking or at least attempting to look for a specific poster print that Steve has been searching for, for forever. I decided last night that if I can find it, it would be the perfect Christmas present for him. BUTTTTT......
I am having no luck finding it. Does anyone have or know of anyone who knows of a website that they can get rare, out of print...etc. poster prints? I am not sure of the name of the print or even the artist but I can best describe that poster print like this....
It's part of the cross and there is a letter nailed to it written in red letters. It says something like, "I have gone to prepare a place for you. I will return soon. Love, God" or something like that.
I have looked all over the net and to no avail have I found this print. Someone....anyone...can you please help a sister out??? LOL!!!
I am having no luck finding it. Does anyone have or know of anyone who knows of a website that they can get rare, out of print...etc. poster prints? I am not sure of the name of the print or even the artist but I can best describe that poster print like this....
It's part of the cross and there is a letter nailed to it written in red letters. It says something like, "I have gone to prepare a place for you. I will return soon. Love, God" or something like that.
I have looked all over the net and to no avail have I found this print. Someone....anyone...can you please help a sister out??? LOL!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I feel pretty....oh so pretty....
I decided I would treat myself to something I have not had in a very long time. I feel pretty...oh so pretty
It's feelin' a little weird but it's all good!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Long time no blog....
Well, I thought it was time to blog since I haven't blogged in like forever...so; here I go!
First, my first plane trip went pretty good. I don't like the take off or the landing but I do not mind the actual trip. And I do believe I have gotten over my fear of heights. On top of that, graduation went well too. With the exception of the blisters I sustained from the tortuous contraptions I wore, otherwise known as heels; it was a great trip and graduation altogether.
I think that the best part was having two very important people there with me, Mom and Steve. My brother, Jeremy and his wife, Courtney could not go because of money issues as well as having 2, 2 year olds and Courtney being preggers. It would not have been a good thing even it would have been great to have everyone that I love there. Steve really made the plane ride much better for me. He was so great. But for him, thought he didn't complain one time, I know he was wondering what he got himself into. LOL! As tall as he is, the plane ride for him was a little uncomfortable. Not to mention that he had worked the night before we left and we had to leave at 2 in the morning on Thursday. He was tired but as I said, never complained once. I told Mom, chivalry is not dead. He made sure that Mom and I were safe and always the gentleman in every sense of the word. I am so blessed with this man in my life and can only hope that he will always be in my life.
Moving on to life since we have returned from Colorado. I had an interesting night to say the least. Have you ever known someone you love but can't stand at times? I have such a person in my life. While I love her and will do just about anything for her, I sometimes cannot stand her. Take tonight for example. Every Tuesday we attend bible study. Now when I say we, I mean me; her Mom and, herself. Each week we look to take turns in driving because of gas prices and well, it's just common sense. Well, 2 weeks ago; I took my turn and then last week her mom took her turn and drove to bible study but then afterwards, she offered to drive home. I suppose she thought that, that was considered to be her turn. Her mom reminded her that she offered to drive home in her mom's car without a fuss. Now I am not one to make a mountain out of a mole hill but this girl lost her ever lovin mind. She flipped the heck out and started making a HUGE deal about driving to church for bible study. This was after I told her that next week was my week, which was my way of reminding her that this was her week to drive. And you know she knew it. Anyway, the whole way to church she is fumming and driving like a mad woman on a rampage. And then as soon as we got to church her mood changed. She was sweet as pie and had not a care in the world. She drives home as if nothing happend and the whole time all I can do is quietly sit and text Steve. All he could say was, as soon as you get home let me know you are safe...which I did. I still have no idea what that was or what even happend.
Now you are probably thinking, "How can you be friends with this person? Nevermind best friends?" Well, to tell you the whole the truth; I have to some extend separated myself from her as much as I can without causing too much of an issue out of it. I may have to do a little more work in that department...at least from what I saw tonight.
Moving on...
I can't believe that in less than 2 months I am going to be meeting my new nephew, Wyatt. Saturday is the baby shower, so you know I am running around like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest...LOSING! LOL!!! Tomorrow though is my day with Steve. He needs to use my computer and then we are spending the afternoon together because the rest of the week will be crazy crazy busy.
So I think that is all for now. I am pretty much caught up with everything that is and has been going on. Til next time...Peace, Love and, Chicken Grease!!!
First, my first plane trip went pretty good. I don't like the take off or the landing but I do not mind the actual trip. And I do believe I have gotten over my fear of heights. On top of that, graduation went well too. With the exception of the blisters I sustained from the tortuous contraptions I wore, otherwise known as heels; it was a great trip and graduation altogether.
I think that the best part was having two very important people there with me, Mom and Steve. My brother, Jeremy and his wife, Courtney could not go because of money issues as well as having 2, 2 year olds and Courtney being preggers. It would not have been a good thing even it would have been great to have everyone that I love there. Steve really made the plane ride much better for me. He was so great. But for him, thought he didn't complain one time, I know he was wondering what he got himself into. LOL! As tall as he is, the plane ride for him was a little uncomfortable. Not to mention that he had worked the night before we left and we had to leave at 2 in the morning on Thursday. He was tired but as I said, never complained once. I told Mom, chivalry is not dead. He made sure that Mom and I were safe and always the gentleman in every sense of the word. I am so blessed with this man in my life and can only hope that he will always be in my life.
Moving on to life since we have returned from Colorado. I had an interesting night to say the least. Have you ever known someone you love but can't stand at times? I have such a person in my life. While I love her and will do just about anything for her, I sometimes cannot stand her. Take tonight for example. Every Tuesday we attend bible study. Now when I say we, I mean me; her Mom and, herself. Each week we look to take turns in driving because of gas prices and well, it's just common sense. Well, 2 weeks ago; I took my turn and then last week her mom took her turn and drove to bible study but then afterwards, she offered to drive home. I suppose she thought that, that was considered to be her turn. Her mom reminded her that she offered to drive home in her mom's car without a fuss. Now I am not one to make a mountain out of a mole hill but this girl lost her ever lovin mind. She flipped the heck out and started making a HUGE deal about driving to church for bible study. This was after I told her that next week was my week, which was my way of reminding her that this was her week to drive. And you know she knew it. Anyway, the whole way to church she is fumming and driving like a mad woman on a rampage. And then as soon as we got to church her mood changed. She was sweet as pie and had not a care in the world. She drives home as if nothing happend and the whole time all I can do is quietly sit and text Steve. All he could say was, as soon as you get home let me know you are safe...which I did. I still have no idea what that was or what even happend.
Now you are probably thinking, "How can you be friends with this person? Nevermind best friends?" Well, to tell you the whole the truth; I have to some extend separated myself from her as much as I can without causing too much of an issue out of it. I may have to do a little more work in that department...at least from what I saw tonight.
Moving on...
I can't believe that in less than 2 months I am going to be meeting my new nephew, Wyatt. Saturday is the baby shower, so you know I am running around like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest...LOSING! LOL!!! Tomorrow though is my day with Steve. He needs to use my computer and then we are spending the afternoon together because the rest of the week will be crazy crazy busy.
So I think that is all for now. I am pretty much caught up with everything that is and has been going on. Til next time...Peace, Love and, Chicken Grease!!!
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