I am Thankful....

...for God and all that He is in my life. Without Him I am truly nothing.
...for my family. They give me the ability to believe in myself when I forget how to. I love them very much.
...for my friends. New and old friends show me so much. They show me what is real and what is not so real in friendship.
...for my little animal children. They love me unconditionally without a doubt.
...for my other family (Steve's Family). Although we have yet to really get to know each other, I know that one day we will have a bond that will be unbreakable.
...for the my niece Ava and Nephews, Cole and Wyatt. They give me every reason in the world to believe in life and miracles.
...for my boyfriend/future husband, Steve. I never thought I would find a real man who believes in life, love and, more importantly God. He gives me every reason to believe.

Attempting to waste time...

I sit here is a very blah mood. I am trying not to be so blah but you see the thing is, I am not having very much success. Today as much as I could I tried to keep busy. That's been somewhat difficult because of my current situation, I gots me a bum leg and I can't get around very well. While I am better than I was, I still have a long way to go before I am better completely. I cleaned today and put away clean laundry. That took me a few hours and then by the time I was done with all of that, I decided to get myself a shower; which is a feat in and of itself. Then by the time I got that done, Mom came home and we had a small birthday thing and watched some re-runs of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for a few hours.

Now I am here. It's nearing 11pm and I am going stir crazy. I've been in this position 2 other times and let me tell you, it still sucks. As I stated above, it's hard to get around. I have to wear this knee emobilizer. It is not only the most uncomfortable thing that I can think of in the world at this moment but it's the most incredibly annoying thing in the world at this moment too. Now this one is way better than the first two I had for my other surgeries but it's still annoying and uncomfortable. It slides down as I am walking so I have to try and take smaller strides and move slower. This has helped but it still slides down or gets all crooked like. It's just flat out annoying.

I am trying to hang on until I can see Steve again. It's driving me nuts!!!! I knew I would miss him but I honestly didn't think I would miss him this much. You know it makes me think about past relationships. I never missed my now exes like I miss Steve. It's weird in a way. But I know it's because I finally found real love. It's amazing. I look at him and I know like I did the first day I saw him after 7 years of not seeing each other, that he was the one that God had made for me. For the 6 months that we were in friends only/kinda dating mode, I told myself that he probably doesn't see me any other way but as a friend. But I recently found out that he would want to ask me out but would back down the moment he felt what he felt. He said this happened 3 different times. He said, "Then I just finally couldn't hold back anymore."

Ok, I think I better end this babble fest and call it a night. Maybe tomorrow will be a faster day than today was or at least the way it felt.

The Birthday Blog

So tomorrow (November 24th) is my birthday. To be exact it is my 31st birthday. I am not sure how to feel about it. This is for a few different reasons.

1) I am turning 31....who wants to get older???

2) My boyfriend, Steve is not here to celebrate it...he is in Louisanna for the holiday and as it with my current condition could not travel with him.

3) I am not into birthdays much anymore...

I don't know, I guess it's a "getting older" thing. I am trying to look at it as a new beginning. A new year to make my life better, myself a better person and, all that comes with new beginnings. So with that said, Happy Birthday to me!