2 months....

2 months ago, I reunited with someone I never imagined I would ever see again. Someone I fondly thought of often and someone I knew I would never forget if I never saw him again. Steve back into my life at what I consider to be the best time. You see I had been asking God is show me my self worth since I had broken up with Stupid...er I mean, Shawn. Through my family I could see glimpses but not quite everything I needed to see. I am a firm believer in you are a reflection of the people around you and so I know that I am a good person, daughter, sister, aunt and, friend; I deserve the best that God can and has given me. However, there was that part of me that was still lost.

I want to say about a month or so before I met Steve again, I realized that kind of woman I wanted to be as far as purity goes. And when I say purity, I do not strictly mean in the physical sense; i.e. sexually. I mean completely! Body, Mind, Heart and, Spirit; not just to myself and for myself but to and for God; as well as whoever my husband will be. I have even gone so far as to wear a purity ring that simply states, "True Love Waits". Then I met Steve again. Steve has got to be the most spirit filled, God-loving and believing man I have ever met in a very long time. Now that is not to say that he is perfect, I am still praying for him to come to church with me or at least get into a church once again, that is just to say that I believe God truly knew the kind of man and friend I would need in my life when Steve came back into my life. Please do not confuse that last thought. I am not stating that Steve is my man, I am just stating the kind of man he is.

After meeting Steve again, I began to see the lost part of me that I have been searching to see. God showed me more of the kind of woman I want to be, a virtuous woman. When I am around Steve, I can honestly say that I see God in him. I not only see God I can feel him with us. And when I look at Steve, I see my reflection. I see that part of me that I never saw before with the other men that I have dated, been friends with or, most recently engaged to. I now know that I was nothing more to them than a "time killer" or shamefully, a "play thing". Actually, I learned this lesson not too long after I ended the engagement to my last mistake or rather lesson learned. It was just confirmed through God bringing Steve back into my life over the past 2 months or a little more acutally by now as I type this. But who is counting? LOL!!! Oh Heck! I am, I like the man and I don't care who knows it or care if I am counting the days since we reunited. LOL!!!

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to convey here is that I am without a doubt blessed to have such a great friend boy. And I hope if it is God's Will that we can share the rest of our lives together, regardless of the "titles" we share, i.e. Boyfriend/Girlfriend or whatever.

Lights, Camera...God?

After reading SCL's recent blog it got me to thinking about my recent visit to a church I once attended. I wonder sometimes if God is impressed with all the glammed and hyped up services that some Churches have. Now I am in no way judging anyone or any church. I am simply stating a thought that I have been having since Sunday.

I haven't been to this church in a very long time and only went because I was invited by my friend boy, Steve's Mom who still attends the church. It saddens me that Steve's Mom is still attending this church and in all honesty, I feel like she is a lamb being led to the slaughter house. I know I cannot pass judgement onto her or anyone else I know that still attends this church but I can't help but remember when I first saw things as they really are at this church. Again, I am not trying to pass judgement but how can this not be seen for what it really is? Or maybe I am wrong to think this?

I don't know, I still have to wonder though...is God impressed with the lights and over-abundance of extravagant praise and worship when all He wants is us to spend time with Him? I mean I know that in the bible it states that even the rocks praise him...so I know nothing is unusual per say when it comes to praising and worshipping God.

4 and a half more weeks!!!

I am soooooo excited!!!! I am literally weeks away from being done with the bachelor's degree program!!!! I officially do not graduate until September 26th. I am going to Colorado to participate in the grounds ceremony. First time on a plane and first time ever off the east coast. Yeah! I am excited!!!!