No Sleep

It's nearing 5am on Thursday morning. I should be asleep and I was up until about an hour ago but for some reason I am awake; don't ask me why? So I thought I would blog or something like it.

I am one week away from getting on a plane for the first time ever in my 30 years of living. I am graduating from college with my bachelor's of science in business administration with a concentration in health care management. To the least I am nervous. I am not nervous to graduate. I am nervous about being on a plane. Steve said I could hold his hand, just as long as I don't break his hand. LOL! I told him that I couldn't make any promises but I will try not to.

On that note, I made a decision last week that I have complete peace about. I have decided to not continue on with the master's degree program. Even with the grant they would be giving me, it wouldn't be worth it monetary wise. They would have only given me $2,000 in grant money and I would then in turn have to pay back $15,000; of which I do not have and do not wish to owe at this time. Now I know that I could work and do the program but I cannot get the thought of paying that much money back versus the money that I was going to get. It's a bit of a disappointment but at the same time as my sis in law said, I wasn't planning on doing the master's program so it's not like I am going to be completely disappointed.

So now with that decision made, I am in search of a job in my field of study. I am praying and believing God will provide that job to me sooner rather than later. With that said, I can already feel God at work. I just need to get on the ball with Him in this journey. I am planning on this once I get back from Colorado. With everything behind me, I know I will not be waiting too long for a good paying, great bennies and, hours job.

On to something else. I have been thinking about this situation that I find myself in from Sunday. Mom says I should speak with the person. But in all honesty, I know that talking to them would make no difference because they are who they are and the only being that can change them is God Himself. I say that because I have tried to speak with this person before about a different situation that they put me in and it did not do much good. So, I pretty much have decided that I am going to leave this person alone about this situation and try to move on and while I do that; I will pray for her. It's all I can do, right?

Well, I am going to try and lay back down again. I am feeling tired, so maybe I will have some luck in sleeping through the rest of the morning.

Friendship

I find this word hard to think about. I am not even sure what it means anymore. You see something was said about me behind my back by someone I never thought would ever say something negative like what she said. And on top of that, when something great happened to me yesterday, this person didn't even clap for me.

I have always been there for this person and always celebrated even the smallest feat for this person. I don't get it and I am not even sure how to deal with it.