Attempting to waste time...

I sit here is a very blah mood. I am trying not to be so blah but you see the thing is, I am not having very much success. Today as much as I could I tried to keep busy. That's been somewhat difficult because of my current situation, I gots me a bum leg and I can't get around very well. While I am better than I was, I still have a long way to go before I am better completely. I cleaned today and put away clean laundry. That took me a few hours and then by the time I was done with all of that, I decided to get myself a shower; which is a feat in and of itself. Then by the time I got that done, Mom came home and we had a small birthday thing and watched some re-runs of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for a few hours.

Now I am here. It's nearing 11pm and I am going stir crazy. I've been in this position 2 other times and let me tell you, it still sucks. As I stated above, it's hard to get around. I have to wear this knee emobilizer. It is not only the most uncomfortable thing that I can think of in the world at this moment but it's the most incredibly annoying thing in the world at this moment too. Now this one is way better than the first two I had for my other surgeries but it's still annoying and uncomfortable. It slides down as I am walking so I have to try and take smaller strides and move slower. This has helped but it still slides down or gets all crooked like. It's just flat out annoying.

I am trying to hang on until I can see Steve again. It's driving me nuts!!!! I knew I would miss him but I honestly didn't think I would miss him this much. You know it makes me think about past relationships. I never missed my now exes like I miss Steve. It's weird in a way. But I know it's because I finally found real love. It's amazing. I look at him and I know like I did the first day I saw him after 7 years of not seeing each other, that he was the one that God had made for me. For the 6 months that we were in friends only/kinda dating mode, I told myself that he probably doesn't see me any other way but as a friend. But I recently found out that he would want to ask me out but would back down the moment he felt what he felt. He said this happened 3 different times. He said, "Then I just finally couldn't hold back anymore."

Ok, I think I better end this babble fest and call it a night. Maybe tomorrow will be a faster day than today was or at least the way it felt.