Vent #1

This blog should not be confused with my gripe blogs, I totally feel that gripes are completely different from vents.

Anyway, so what is my first vent??? Ok, so I have had a medical issue that totally threw me for a loop and it's not even the middle of the week yet. Yesterday after my wonderful 7 hours in the ER and knowing that as of right now, I have really nothing to be too concerned with because the tests results came back negative, I had told my sis in law that I would still be over to help with the twins the next day (today). But when I woke up, I felt like mack truck had just completely made road kill out of me. I didn't want to bail on my sis in law but I just knew that I couldn't make it. I ended up waking up around 7am and called my sis in law to let her know that I would not be over and that was really sorry but I felt just awful. I could tell that she wasn't pleased by this but honestly, I just couldn't push myself. Even now I feel like someone is trying to rip my uterus out through my nose. Well, anyway...Mom gets home does her thing, then calls to make sure that Courtney was ok since I had not made it over today. Mom could tell that she wasn't happy and made the conversation short and sweet. Then she called my brother because she wanted to let him know something about the accident she had a few months ago. Well, while on the phone, she mentioned something about me feeling bad about not making it today to help with the twins and not really knowing what he was saying I could hear just going off about it. Now in his defense he did say from what Mom told me that he didn't want to upset me. However, it still does not because of what he said but because 1) Courtney, in my opinion, has no reason to cop and attitude when she knew that I had been in the ER and even though I thought I would be ok, I wasn't. I would think she would be understanding of this. 2) My brother is apparently taking her side, not even giving way to the fact that I was in the ER. 3) Apparently I was supposed to know how I was going to feel this morning 4) Apparently, an hour and a half is "last minute" and I should have given her more notice 5) I am starting to feel more like a babysitter/employee (not getting paid) than the Aunt, which is completely unfair.

To say the least, I am tired and very frustrated. I have been praying since this all went down. But honestly, my physical discomfort is taking over my brain.

I think I am going to lay down now. Thanks for letting me vent.