...that life would be easy. What a statement or rather provoking thought. I mean I know God didn't say these exact words verbatim but still in His word He shows us that there will be times of tests and trials. Our faith is tested, our patience is tested and, so much more. Sometimes I wonder just how much more I can take before I feel like or even come close to losing all self control over my emotions and ability to stay, shall we say sane? While some stresses I can easily handle there have been some in the past week or so that have been more than I feel like I can handle.
Ever since I can remember I have been there for my family in ever sense of the statement and even thought. There has never been a time that I haven't been there as much as I possibly could be. Some of those times were the absolute toughest I have ever faced; there were moments that I didn't think that I was strong enough to get through it all but I did. So for this newest moment in my life to take place, I am left feeling stuck. I almost feel like I am in cement or something like that and just can't get out. As hard as I try, I just can't get out of this place. Trust me when I say that I am giving it to God and continue to every day since this all took place. But I still feel stuck.
I don't want to talk badly about someone or make them out to be the complete "bad guy" but as the situation goes, these people have taken a part of my heart away and in the mist of it can't see beyond their miscontruded truth. I want so badly to response to them but I can't because of their inability to see anything but what they see. I seriously don't like this; hence me feeling stuck.
So, I am left to wonder what will happen from here on out with these people I speak of??? At this point, I will put nothing passed them. Maybe I could be wrong???
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Life Changes...
Today was a day that brought a great loss. We (mainly those that knew her best) lost a great woman today. Grandma Dot as I knew her, was a great lady. Although I have only known her 7.5 years of her life, she greatly touched mine. Grandma Dot is my sister in law, Courtney's Grandmother. A lady who I believe was more like her best friend than her grandma. And I for one can truly respect and sympathize with her loss.
Her death made me think about a lot of things today. Mainly how life changes and wishing beyond anything imaginable that life would never change but at that same time that it would only change just enough for life to continue. It also got me to thinking about my family.
Although we do not always see eye to eye, I do truly and honestly love each and everyone in my family. And I wish for them all to know that I do love them.
As stated before, Grandma Dot's passing made me think about a lot of things today. Steve and I went driving, mostly to get my mind off of the sadness that I have been feeling for the Choco family. While driving, we somehow ended up in different places that I grew up in or around. Different places that made me realize how much I don't want life to change. But what makes me wish this even more, is wishing that we could have all those who passed away back...even if it were just one more day.
When I think about Grandma Dot, I think about someone who just loved life and everyone around her, even if she didn't know you; which was the case when Jeremy and Courtney first got married, we met them the day of the wedding pretty much with just hours to go. She had this way about her that you felt like she was your grandma even though she really wasn't.
To say the least, this is a sad day for all who even knew Grandma Dot...even sadder for those who were closer than ever to her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all this day and always.
Her death made me think about a lot of things today. Mainly how life changes and wishing beyond anything imaginable that life would never change but at that same time that it would only change just enough for life to continue. It also got me to thinking about my family.
Although we do not always see eye to eye, I do truly and honestly love each and everyone in my family. And I wish for them all to know that I do love them.
As stated before, Grandma Dot's passing made me think about a lot of things today. Steve and I went driving, mostly to get my mind off of the sadness that I have been feeling for the Choco family. While driving, we somehow ended up in different places that I grew up in or around. Different places that made me realize how much I don't want life to change. But what makes me wish this even more, is wishing that we could have all those who passed away back...even if it were just one more day.
When I think about Grandma Dot, I think about someone who just loved life and everyone around her, even if she didn't know you; which was the case when Jeremy and Courtney first got married, we met them the day of the wedding pretty much with just hours to go. She had this way about her that you felt like she was your grandma even though she really wasn't.
To say the least, this is a sad day for all who even knew Grandma Dot...even sadder for those who were closer than ever to her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all this day and always.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
How do I?
Ok, so I have noticed that April and her sister, Sarah have changed their themes on this blogger...how do I do that? My page looks so *YAWN* excuse...boring. Help!!! Please, Pretty Please with a cherry on top???
Saturday, January 31, 2009
My Future Hubby Rocks...Our Love Story Edition
So, after reading my friend, April's love story with her Hubby Cory; I was inspired to share Steve's and My Love Story.
Let's see going on 8 years ago, my family and I started going to this church that we now no longer go to. Anyway, I remember seeing Steve a few times and thinking, "He's cute." and I began to wonder about him. I was thinking about going up to him but it was then that I realized that he is deaf (through seeing him speak to his mother is what I now know is cued speech) and I lost my nerve because I didn't know how to sign except for a few exceptions (like my ABC's and a few words). Before long, he came up to me and said hi. I was kind of surprised that he could speak and that he approached me. We started to talk just about every time we saw each other in church but that was about it. My Aunt Jo once told me not long after Steve and I met that she saw us together in her mind's eye. I tried to keep my cool around him because I did develop some feelings for him...until I found out his age. Let's just say he was barely legal and I kind of didn't think that, that would be appropriate...at least that time.
Skipping ahead, not long after that my family and I ended up leaving the church because we didn't like what we were learning about what was happening in the church in many areas of the church. It was not long after that, that I realized that I had left him behind too. We had become fairly close friends...as close as we could be considering.
I now realize that God used that time to mold us and create us a better people. 9 months ago, I happened to hook up with an old church from on myspace who I knew had known Steve and his family. I remember going through her pictures and coming across a picture with Steve in it. I was so excited because I had never forgotten about him and even in the years after leaving the church and him behind had tried to find him. I did have luck once but at that time he was with another girl and I didn't want to come in between that. Anyway, back to what I was saying...
After seeing him in this picture, I decided to see if he was one of her friends. Low and behold, he was and that made me even more excited. I sent him a message; hoping he would remember me. He did.
We started hanging out not long after we started talking again via myspace and some text messages. I would later find out that he had feelings for me back in the day and missed me when I went away. We took the time to really reconnect and learn who we were after all these years. I prayed that he would still have the same feelings for me and that we would grow in love. My prayers were answered. He asked me to be his girl. I said yes. We started talking about marriage. He said he knew I would be his wife when he let go of his fear of being hurt. Like myself, he has had some very bad unhealthy relationships. His fear, like mine came from the past hurts he experienced. He said that God told him it was ok. (I paraphrase here of course).
I know that God orchestrated everything and everyone in our lives. It was just a matter of allowing God to do what He needed to do and had always planned to do for us.
PS: Thanks April for sharing your story. It really did open the door for me to see the blessings I have in my life. With certain things going on lately in my family, I needed this; it helps to see the blessings in the mist of trials.
Let's see going on 8 years ago, my family and I started going to this church that we now no longer go to. Anyway, I remember seeing Steve a few times and thinking, "He's cute." and I began to wonder about him. I was thinking about going up to him but it was then that I realized that he is deaf (through seeing him speak to his mother is what I now know is cued speech) and I lost my nerve because I didn't know how to sign except for a few exceptions (like my ABC's and a few words). Before long, he came up to me and said hi. I was kind of surprised that he could speak and that he approached me. We started to talk just about every time we saw each other in church but that was about it. My Aunt Jo once told me not long after Steve and I met that she saw us together in her mind's eye. I tried to keep my cool around him because I did develop some feelings for him...until I found out his age. Let's just say he was barely legal and I kind of didn't think that, that would be appropriate...at least that time.
Skipping ahead, not long after that my family and I ended up leaving the church because we didn't like what we were learning about what was happening in the church in many areas of the church. It was not long after that, that I realized that I had left him behind too. We had become fairly close friends...as close as we could be considering.
I now realize that God used that time to mold us and create us a better people. 9 months ago, I happened to hook up with an old church from on myspace who I knew had known Steve and his family. I remember going through her pictures and coming across a picture with Steve in it. I was so excited because I had never forgotten about him and even in the years after leaving the church and him behind had tried to find him. I did have luck once but at that time he was with another girl and I didn't want to come in between that. Anyway, back to what I was saying...
After seeing him in this picture, I decided to see if he was one of her friends. Low and behold, he was and that made me even more excited. I sent him a message; hoping he would remember me. He did.
We started hanging out not long after we started talking again via myspace and some text messages. I would later find out that he had feelings for me back in the day and missed me when I went away. We took the time to really reconnect and learn who we were after all these years. I prayed that he would still have the same feelings for me and that we would grow in love. My prayers were answered. He asked me to be his girl. I said yes. We started talking about marriage. He said he knew I would be his wife when he let go of his fear of being hurt. Like myself, he has had some very bad unhealthy relationships. His fear, like mine came from the past hurts he experienced. He said that God told him it was ok. (I paraphrase here of course).
I know that God orchestrated everything and everyone in our lives. It was just a matter of allowing God to do what He needed to do and had always planned to do for us.
PS: Thanks April for sharing your story. It really did open the door for me to see the blessings I have in my life. With certain things going on lately in my family, I needed this; it helps to see the blessings in the mist of trials.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Dresses and other things I like...a bit of a few choices that I am looking at...
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=Wedding+Dress&SKU=Faith&i=37869409273
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=Wedding+Dress&SKU=JordanMarie&i=37869409273#Page_1
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=tiara&SKU=C7164&i=37869409273
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=tiara&SKU=DH4044&i=37869409273
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=shoes&SKU=Valerie742&i=37869409273
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=Wedding+Dress&SKU=JordanMarie&i=37869409273#Page_1
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=tiara&SKU=C7164&i=37869409273
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=tiara&SKU=DH4044&i=37869409273
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=shoes&SKU=Valerie742&i=37869409273
Link for Wedding Dress I like...
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/Collection/product-page.asp?q=Wedding+Dress&SKU=Erin&i=37869409273#Page_1
Tell me what you think?
Tell me what you think?
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