You never think it will hit so close to home. You watch the crime shows and don't really think to much about the subject but more or less of the whodunit. I found out last night that a former employer that I used to work for and with, his granddaughter was murdered at some point over the weekend or the end of last week. Details of when it happened are still vague and what happened as well. From what I am told, Heather recently moved to Oregon. She was 8 months pregnant with a little boy and not knowing many people in a new state, she ventured onto Craigslist.com to find baby clothes for her new baby to be born. As it turned out, she found someone looking to sell clothes that she could and would use when the baby was born. The lady that was selling the items, had made up lies stating that she was pregnant as well and that was how she god Heather to her home. Once there, Heather was hit with a blunt object. Her baby was then cutted out of her and her body was hidden under the kitchen floor for a little time. Apparently the lady called her boyfriend to tell him that she had, had the baby and when he got to her house, the baby was not breathing. The lady didn't seek medical attention for the baby and because of that the baby die not too long after he was born. However, the lady kept the baby even after he had died. I am not sure of the details as I have only been told so much because more is being learned about this senseless act. Heather was 21 years old.
As I said, this hit close to home. I know the Snively family through work and church over the last, 10 years maybe or there about. Steve knows the family since he was very young and his brother, Andrew was best friends with Heather's brother growing up. My brother is friends with and attends the church that the snively family were members of before the church recieved a new pastor who is now my brother's and his family's pastor. Their pastor also works for the owner of the shepherd's guide, Bill. Heather was Bill's oldest son's daughter. The list goes on and on in the whole connection.
When I first heard the news it was just a little snippet of what happend but details were still being investigated. Then last night more came out and above is what I found out. Here is a link to the report I found online to this sad situation. It goes into a little more detail than what I know of course and what maryland news has reported.
http://www.oregonlive.com/newsflash/index.ssf?/base/national-23/124446853871370.xml&storylist=orlocal#continue
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Am I wrong???
Ok! So there are a few things that I need to get off my chest a little. I will start with the simpler of the two or three things on my mind that I need to vent about.
So, at the church that I attend, not as frequently as I would like but hey! at least I have a church that I can gladly call home, we have an e-mail prayer chain thing. Well, the person in charge of it for the most part; the pastor also sends out the prayer request that comes to him via e-mail as well, seems to edit the prayers being sent to her to be sent to the prayer partners. I am not liking this. The first time I noticed it I didn't really pay much attention to it because I knew that I had become long winded in the prayer I had sent to her to be sent out to the others. Then it happened again, but again I never paid attention to it because much of the prayer request or the message behind it, I believed had gotten through. After a while I kind of just went with it...but now, for some reason it is bothering me. Now, don't get me wrong I know that God knows what is going on and no matter what He knows my needs. I guess what is bothering me about it this time is, the fact that nothing needed to be "edited" out. It was short and to the point, nothing offensive and, basically a simple but much needed prayer request. When I saw that it had been "edited"...I got to thinking..."Who says that a prayer needs to be "edited"?" I mean I understand some things can be left and are better left unsaid but when it comes down to it, I never say anything that doesn't need to be said or made known to other people. With this latest prayer request that I sent in, I was pretty vague; or so I thought with what I wanted others to pray about. I don't know. I just think some things that belong to another person...thoughts, prayers, or, what have you should be left alone. It's one thing to "edit" something because of space and even the need to save time...but to "edit" it because you think this or that doesn't need to be said or known...if I didn't want anyone to know, I wouldn't put it out there. Below you will find a copy of the prayer request I sent in and a copy of the prayer that was sent to the prayer partners. Maybe you can tell me if it needed to be "edited".
My Prayer Request
Dear Calvary Family, For weeks now, I have been asking for prayer for an unspoken matter. While things have improved, I am sad to say that much of the situation has taken a bit of a turn and gone somewhat back or at least closer back to the beginning. I'm at a loss of words and even thoughts as to why this is even taking place?? Suffice it to say where I thought forgiveness was given and amends was being made, I found out that I have been so very wrong. While I am more than willing to admit my wrong doing, if the other people involved would open the ears of their hearts to listen, I have not been able to even get a word in without being cut off and some off handed remark being made. I sincerely do not understand why this is happening. By no means am I claiming complete innocence in this situation, I am not the only one who is wrong. If you would, please pray for me and all involved that God's truth would be shown where it needs to be seen and that God would open the hearts that are closed. Thank you and God Bless!
The prayer that was sent...
Dear Calvary Family, For weeks now, I have been asking for prayer for an unspoken matter. While things have improved, I am sad to say that much of the situation has taken a bit of a turn and gone somewhat back or at least closer back to the beginning. Suffice it to say where I thought forgiveness was given and amends was being made, I found out that I have been so very wrong. I sincerely do not understand why this is happening. If you would, please pray for me and all involved that God's truth would be shown where it needs to be seen and that God would open the hearts that are closed. Thank you and God Bless!
I just don't understand.
Now, moving onto the next item of discomfort for me...which pretains to the prayer request posted above.
Back in march...when we had the very last snow of the year...my brother called me asking for help. Well, to make a long story short; I told him no because I didn't feel comfortable driving on the snowy, wet and, icey roads. I know that not all the roads were bad that day but where I live and the roads leading from where I live to the main roads were still pretty nasty and the tires on my car at the time were not right for the weather. I pretty much needed new tires but could not afford them at the time. Anyway, suffice it to say, my brother and his wife went off on me and basically stated that they were done with me. They were done with me treating them like crap and using foul language in front of their children. Now, let it be known that I have never ever used foul language in front of any child; my niece and nephews or any other child for that matter. That is not me. My brother on the other hand...he has but I digress.
Anyway, things have been kind of bumpy since then and while it was 2 months before I actually saw the kids, I have finally been able to see them for the last month or there about. However, I found out that my brother and his wife are waiting for an apology...the apology they want is for saying no that day of the snow and for treating them like crap as they stated. I am not even sure how I have treated them like crap because I have always been there when they needed me. With the exception of not being there 3 or 4 times that I was not feeling well and even then I got an attitude from them. I just don't get it.
More than that, my brother saying he loves me but has not forgiven me yet. How can you love someone but not forgive them? Is that even possible? Furthermore, the only thing that I know for sure that I am wrong in is for the time I argued with my brother in front of the kids and it made them cry because they didn't understand what was going on and another time that I called me brother a butthead in front of the kids. I should have never allowed that to happen and am truly sorry for it.
The other day, I tried to speak to my brother about it but as usual he cut me off and said he had to go. I mean seriously...is this happening? My brother and I used to be close...not anymore. And in all honesty, I feel like it has alot to do with his wife. I never felt like she ever liked me and the only time she liked me was when I was doing something for her...especially when the babies came along but of course, I never minded being there with the babies...they have been my life and would never change that for the world. She always said I never seem to want to spend time with her...honestly that was because I got tired of her idea of spending time together was me doing things for her. I don't mind helping but I do mind being taken advantage of. I don't know. Am I wrong in feeling like the reason they are mad at me is because I said no for the final time and thought of myself for once, which I hardly ever do???
I wish my Aunt Jo were still alive, she always had a great way of showing me a different perspective when I needed one.
But I guess what I am asking is if I am wrong in feeling these feelings in these two different situations.
What do you think? (Whoever reads this)
So, at the church that I attend, not as frequently as I would like but hey! at least I have a church that I can gladly call home, we have an e-mail prayer chain thing. Well, the person in charge of it for the most part; the pastor also sends out the prayer request that comes to him via e-mail as well, seems to edit the prayers being sent to her to be sent to the prayer partners. I am not liking this. The first time I noticed it I didn't really pay much attention to it because I knew that I had become long winded in the prayer I had sent to her to be sent out to the others. Then it happened again, but again I never paid attention to it because much of the prayer request or the message behind it, I believed had gotten through. After a while I kind of just went with it...but now, for some reason it is bothering me. Now, don't get me wrong I know that God knows what is going on and no matter what He knows my needs. I guess what is bothering me about it this time is, the fact that nothing needed to be "edited" out. It was short and to the point, nothing offensive and, basically a simple but much needed prayer request. When I saw that it had been "edited"...I got to thinking..."Who says that a prayer needs to be "edited"?" I mean I understand some things can be left and are better left unsaid but when it comes down to it, I never say anything that doesn't need to be said or made known to other people. With this latest prayer request that I sent in, I was pretty vague; or so I thought with what I wanted others to pray about. I don't know. I just think some things that belong to another person...thoughts, prayers, or, what have you should be left alone. It's one thing to "edit" something because of space and even the need to save time...but to "edit" it because you think this or that doesn't need to be said or known...if I didn't want anyone to know, I wouldn't put it out there. Below you will find a copy of the prayer request I sent in and a copy of the prayer that was sent to the prayer partners. Maybe you can tell me if it needed to be "edited".
My Prayer Request
Dear Calvary Family, For weeks now, I have been asking for prayer for an unspoken matter. While things have improved, I am sad to say that much of the situation has taken a bit of a turn and gone somewhat back or at least closer back to the beginning. I'm at a loss of words and even thoughts as to why this is even taking place?? Suffice it to say where I thought forgiveness was given and amends was being made, I found out that I have been so very wrong. While I am more than willing to admit my wrong doing, if the other people involved would open the ears of their hearts to listen, I have not been able to even get a word in without being cut off and some off handed remark being made. I sincerely do not understand why this is happening. By no means am I claiming complete innocence in this situation, I am not the only one who is wrong. If you would, please pray for me and all involved that God's truth would be shown where it needs to be seen and that God would open the hearts that are closed. Thank you and God Bless!
The prayer that was sent...
Dear Calvary Family, For weeks now, I have been asking for prayer for an unspoken matter. While things have improved, I am sad to say that much of the situation has taken a bit of a turn and gone somewhat back or at least closer back to the beginning. Suffice it to say where I thought forgiveness was given and amends was being made, I found out that I have been so very wrong. I sincerely do not understand why this is happening. If you would, please pray for me and all involved that God's truth would be shown where it needs to be seen and that God would open the hearts that are closed. Thank you and God Bless!
I just don't understand.
Now, moving onto the next item of discomfort for me...which pretains to the prayer request posted above.
Back in march...when we had the very last snow of the year...my brother called me asking for help. Well, to make a long story short; I told him no because I didn't feel comfortable driving on the snowy, wet and, icey roads. I know that not all the roads were bad that day but where I live and the roads leading from where I live to the main roads were still pretty nasty and the tires on my car at the time were not right for the weather. I pretty much needed new tires but could not afford them at the time. Anyway, suffice it to say, my brother and his wife went off on me and basically stated that they were done with me. They were done with me treating them like crap and using foul language in front of their children. Now, let it be known that I have never ever used foul language in front of any child; my niece and nephews or any other child for that matter. That is not me. My brother on the other hand...he has but I digress.
Anyway, things have been kind of bumpy since then and while it was 2 months before I actually saw the kids, I have finally been able to see them for the last month or there about. However, I found out that my brother and his wife are waiting for an apology...the apology they want is for saying no that day of the snow and for treating them like crap as they stated. I am not even sure how I have treated them like crap because I have always been there when they needed me. With the exception of not being there 3 or 4 times that I was not feeling well and even then I got an attitude from them. I just don't get it.
More than that, my brother saying he loves me but has not forgiven me yet. How can you love someone but not forgive them? Is that even possible? Furthermore, the only thing that I know for sure that I am wrong in is for the time I argued with my brother in front of the kids and it made them cry because they didn't understand what was going on and another time that I called me brother a butthead in front of the kids. I should have never allowed that to happen and am truly sorry for it.
The other day, I tried to speak to my brother about it but as usual he cut me off and said he had to go. I mean seriously...is this happening? My brother and I used to be close...not anymore. And in all honesty, I feel like it has alot to do with his wife. I never felt like she ever liked me and the only time she liked me was when I was doing something for her...especially when the babies came along but of course, I never minded being there with the babies...they have been my life and would never change that for the world. She always said I never seem to want to spend time with her...honestly that was because I got tired of her idea of spending time together was me doing things for her. I don't mind helping but I do mind being taken advantage of. I don't know. Am I wrong in feeling like the reason they are mad at me is because I said no for the final time and thought of myself for once, which I hardly ever do???
I wish my Aunt Jo were still alive, she always had a great way of showing me a different perspective when I needed one.
But I guess what I am asking is if I am wrong in feeling these feelings in these two different situations.
What do you think? (Whoever reads this)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Long time...New Blog
So, I just realized that I have not blogged in a VERY long time. Lots has happend but more than that I just have been so busy with work and taking care of family things that I just am too tired to think about anything to write about.
But here is a quick rundown on what's been taking place...
Got a job...not what I want but it's a job and I'm just blessed to have one; I'm finding a new way of looking at it and it's actually helping me see things differently
Helping my best friend prepare for her up coming wedding in July
Looking for a job in the medical industry...not having much luck
Trying to find time to plan Steve's and my wedding
Cell phone broke 6 months before I was ready to get a new one...got new phone that I am not too sure I like but starting to get used to it
Steve is contemplating getting two jobs to help get us outta debt or at least at a happy medium and less of a drowning/head above water feeling...not really liking the thought of it all but I'm going to be as supportive as possible and just love Steve for wanting to make our life better in the finanical department
I'm trying to get back into my crafts...it's really helping me to relax
I think that's about it. Life is still life and all is good...nothing to complain about.
But here is a quick rundown on what's been taking place...
Got a job...not what I want but it's a job and I'm just blessed to have one; I'm finding a new way of looking at it and it's actually helping me see things differently
Helping my best friend prepare for her up coming wedding in July
Looking for a job in the medical industry...not having much luck
Trying to find time to plan Steve's and my wedding
Cell phone broke 6 months before I was ready to get a new one...got new phone that I am not too sure I like but starting to get used to it
Steve is contemplating getting two jobs to help get us outta debt or at least at a happy medium and less of a drowning/head above water feeling...not really liking the thought of it all but I'm going to be as supportive as possible and just love Steve for wanting to make our life better in the finanical department
I'm trying to get back into my crafts...it's really helping me to relax
I think that's about it. Life is still life and all is good...nothing to complain about.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A Mix of a Blog
I am not sure where to start. I know, I can start at the beginning but there really is no beginning to be had or seen. This is due in part to the mixture of the things that have been taking place lately.
First, I highly recommend a good silent scream. I discovered this earlier this evening after a small situation where I was told basically that the feelings I was having were not necessary. Ok, they may not be necessary but they are mine and I have every right to have and feel my feelings; reguardless of if they are necessary or not. I feel better now. LOL!!!
Moving on, I finally found myself a little job of sorts. It's not much but with God guiding me in this, who knows it could be something great. At least, that is how I am looking at it because if I look at it any other way; I just might go nuts. I certainly hope I don't go nuts anyway. LOL!
What else? Ah yes! I finally sold my wedding dress from what was supposed to be for my first and only marriage to an ex who I am so glad is no longer in my life. Steve is pretty happy about it too. It's kind of strange, but a funny strange not weird strange about Steve's feelings on that. I remember when we first started talking about marriage he said he would be fine with the dress I had. Then not long after we got engaged, he said he had something to tell me and told me that he would much rather me have a dress that was for him and me...not the one that was originally for another man who didn't deserve me. Now that is not the strange part, the strange part is; he refused to even look at the dress even for a second.
You see my best friend, Kellie is getting married. Even though she has been engaged for 2 years and they were going to wait until they could afford a house, they have decided to get married in a matter of months. The reason for this sudden change of plans is not really easy to explain. I kind of understand but still a little confused about it but anyway, Kellie had been wondering about my dress and asked me to bring it by last night to her house. The moment she looked at it, she said, "I love it". She tried it on and although it needs some alterations, she looks absolutely beautiful in it. But back to what I was saying, Steve refused to look at it. As I took it out of the closet that I kept it in, I said; "It might be gone for good after tonight." He shook his head and said, "I don't want to see it. We have a new life together and that is a part of your past. Not the future." I told him I would see him later and went on my way.
So, now I have little to no stress due to my discovery of the silent scream, a new job of sorts and, Kellie has taken my dress and bought it from me.
First, I highly recommend a good silent scream. I discovered this earlier this evening after a small situation where I was told basically that the feelings I was having were not necessary. Ok, they may not be necessary but they are mine and I have every right to have and feel my feelings; reguardless of if they are necessary or not. I feel better now. LOL!!!
Moving on, I finally found myself a little job of sorts. It's not much but with God guiding me in this, who knows it could be something great. At least, that is how I am looking at it because if I look at it any other way; I just might go nuts. I certainly hope I don't go nuts anyway. LOL!
What else? Ah yes! I finally sold my wedding dress from what was supposed to be for my first and only marriage to an ex who I am so glad is no longer in my life. Steve is pretty happy about it too. It's kind of strange, but a funny strange not weird strange about Steve's feelings on that. I remember when we first started talking about marriage he said he would be fine with the dress I had. Then not long after we got engaged, he said he had something to tell me and told me that he would much rather me have a dress that was for him and me...not the one that was originally for another man who didn't deserve me. Now that is not the strange part, the strange part is; he refused to even look at the dress even for a second.
You see my best friend, Kellie is getting married. Even though she has been engaged for 2 years and they were going to wait until they could afford a house, they have decided to get married in a matter of months. The reason for this sudden change of plans is not really easy to explain. I kind of understand but still a little confused about it but anyway, Kellie had been wondering about my dress and asked me to bring it by last night to her house. The moment she looked at it, she said, "I love it". She tried it on and although it needs some alterations, she looks absolutely beautiful in it. But back to what I was saying, Steve refused to look at it. As I took it out of the closet that I kept it in, I said; "It might be gone for good after tonight." He shook his head and said, "I don't want to see it. We have a new life together and that is a part of your past. Not the future." I told him I would see him later and went on my way.
So, now I have little to no stress due to my discovery of the silent scream, a new job of sorts and, Kellie has taken my dress and bought it from me.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
A poem for Steve
There is a love that no one can truly comprehend
No one knows where it really begins and if you are lucky it will never ever end
There is a love that many wish and pray to God for
Some are blessed enough to receive this kind of love and so much more
There is a love that when you least expect it, it comes to you
It's the kind of love that is absolute and true
There is a love that only one other kind of love can compare to it
That is the love of God; and His love is complete and perfect
We have this love that no one can ever take away
Because I will love you forever and always; plus 1 day
(c) - 2009 Becky W.
No one knows where it really begins and if you are lucky it will never ever end
There is a love that many wish and pray to God for
Some are blessed enough to receive this kind of love and so much more
There is a love that when you least expect it, it comes to you
It's the kind of love that is absolute and true
There is a love that only one other kind of love can compare to it
That is the love of God; and His love is complete and perfect
We have this love that no one can ever take away
Because I will love you forever and always; plus 1 day
(c) - 2009 Becky W.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
An Open Letter to God...
Dear God,
It's me, one of your millions and millions of daughters, Becky. Can we talk? I understand that you never ever said that life would be easy but um, can you help me out a bit here? I mean don't get me wrong I know I am the clay and you are the potter; and you gotta mold and shape me, and all that jazz but I feel like I have had enough for a bit and need a wee bit of a break; if it's possible. If not, could just give me the peace and strength I need to get through this time?
Since October of last year, I have been having struggle after struggle and just when I think I have made it through; more struggle comes my way and I feel so tired that all I want to do is sleep until it all goes away and I know it can't be that way. I need a job, like last week. I do believe there is a job out there for me but I gotta tell ya; I'm getting tired of searching. I feel like I am fishing in a body of water that has nothing but sewage floating around in it and the fish have all bailed out in search of better living conditions.
So, if you could, and when you have time; could you help me out a little? Oh! I know you have provided for me thus far but in all honesty, I wish to be able to have the provision come from you through me for once. It's hard to watch someone else struggle because of my struggle. I just don't see where that is fair to them even though they love me as much as they do to do anything for me no matter what the reason or need.
I hope that I am not asking for too much here. I love you and pray you are with me always.
Love,
Becky
It's me, one of your millions and millions of daughters, Becky. Can we talk? I understand that you never ever said that life would be easy but um, can you help me out a bit here? I mean don't get me wrong I know I am the clay and you are the potter; and you gotta mold and shape me, and all that jazz but I feel like I have had enough for a bit and need a wee bit of a break; if it's possible. If not, could just give me the peace and strength I need to get through this time?
Since October of last year, I have been having struggle after struggle and just when I think I have made it through; more struggle comes my way and I feel so tired that all I want to do is sleep until it all goes away and I know it can't be that way. I need a job, like last week. I do believe there is a job out there for me but I gotta tell ya; I'm getting tired of searching. I feel like I am fishing in a body of water that has nothing but sewage floating around in it and the fish have all bailed out in search of better living conditions.
So, if you could, and when you have time; could you help me out a little? Oh! I know you have provided for me thus far but in all honesty, I wish to be able to have the provision come from you through me for once. It's hard to watch someone else struggle because of my struggle. I just don't see where that is fair to them even though they love me as much as they do to do anything for me no matter what the reason or need.
I hope that I am not asking for too much here. I love you and pray you are with me always.
Love,
Becky
Monday, March 16, 2009
A Wedding Date is SET!!!
Steve and I finally set a date for our wedding. We have decided to get married April 17, 2010. I am so excited. It's almost weird for me to think I will no longer be known as a "Wilson" but will be known as a "Nash". Craziness!!! LOL!!!
Since we have set a date, we have gotten mixed reviews; not like the opinions or thoughts matter much to us because of the fact that it is our day. One person said we were waiting too long to get married. I was kind of surprised by that and honestly didn't know how to react to this.
So, yeah we have a date set and now the planning really begins...hmmm!!!
Since we have set a date, we have gotten mixed reviews; not like the opinions or thoughts matter much to us because of the fact that it is our day. One person said we were waiting too long to get married. I was kind of surprised by that and honestly didn't know how to react to this.
So, yeah we have a date set and now the planning really begins...hmmm!!!
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